The art of letting go (of 2016)

It is easy to let go of tangible things. For some people, it is even easier to let go of people. One thing is for sure, most people have a hard time letting go of the old self. You have to let go of the old self because there are stages in your life that require a new you. Going to college requires a new you. A new job requires a new you. A job promotion requires a new you. Starting a married life requires a new you. A new year may call for a new you.

Don’t get me wrong. Letting go of the old self does not mean you acquire a new identity. Letting go of the old self rather results to a better version of yourself. Remember this line from the movie It takes a man and a woman -- “This is Laida Magtalas, version 2.0! Braver... Bolder... Fiercer!”? That could be you!

What are the signs that you need to get rid of the old self?

1. Things are getting too difficult to handle. “Hirap na hirap na ako.”

Ever felt like things are not in their proper places? That feeling of messing up bigtime? Your boss is always angry at you, your parents are frustrated whenever they see you, your friends are detached to you… the list goes on. These situations do not call for a time to be lonely. You don’t have to be depressed. These situations are signals that call your attention. These signals are screaming for a change of character. Say goodbye to the old self and say hello to the new you.

2. Things are getting too easy. “Walang challenge”.

Have you ever experienced being short of your allowance but it didn’t worry you because you can just ask your parents anytime, or your sister, or a friend can lend you some? Have you experienced being in a group project, and you haven’t done a single task but you still get 99% score anyway, same as your groupmates who really worked hard for that project? Remember that you have a calling in life, a purpose. If you are not doing your purpose (job, task, assignment, as simple as budgeting), other people will do it for you and it will benefit you for a little while but it will haunt you later and you will go back to example number 1.

Then how am I suppose to get rid of the old self?

1. Be honest

Don’t be too denial.

“Masungit lang siguro si Boss.”  

“Part na siguro ito ng personality ko. Hindi na ako magbabago”.

What? So sinong mag-aadjust? Mag-adjust si Boss para sayo?

Kidding aside. When things get rough, convince yourself that something is not right! There’s only one way to change the situation and that is to change yourself. If you change, everything changes. You change, because you don’t have the power to change other people. You rather have the power to change yourself.

  

2. Be objective

Set aside your feelings. Do not be too emotional. Getting rid of the old self maybe painful because you feel like you are getting rid of a part of your personality or identity. However, that is not your identity. Being so messy is not part of your identity. Being a failure is not part of your identity. Everybody has failed one way or the other but successful people get rid of their failures and move on. Do not EVER doubt yourself. Do not doubt your capabilities. Do not hate yourself. Shout your feelings away and focus on your situation.

3. Focus

Focus on the things that you can change. Get rid of the What ifs. You can’t change the past but you can do something for a better future.

4. Be assertive

Put that one foot in front of the other and don’t let anything or anyone break your stride. Move. Act upon that situation. Act upon that New Year’s resolution. Even if you are not in the mood. Even if you are having a bad day. Move and act.

5. Acceptance

Say goodbye to the old self and say hello to the new you. Accept the better version of you. Accept that change is coming! Accept that change has come. 

Celebrate. Welcome the coming of the New Year with arms wide open!